Feeding My Demon
In the hour before dawn
The memories smash through the carefully barred doors
Of their jail cells in my marrow.
Watching the front door close behind my young child,
Taken away by a friend to safety
Because I know they are coming for me.
A gun to my head
Metal around my wrists
Blood in the orchard
Only because I am "OTHER."
You don't get to judge me for acting from my lizard brain
Until you have been there yourself.
But you can support me and hold my hand while I go through hell
Over and Over and Over.
Suns rise and moons set. Seasons pass and trees die, but nothing will ever be the same for me
For I am alone with my fear.
Treat lightly, speak softly, and lend a hand when I stumble
For my nerves are raw
And I am tired to the bone.
Men in the uniforms of power
Yelling, abusing, deciding my life behind politely closed doors
Of a cop car or a court room.
Dont' ask me to salute a flag or sing an anthem!
My pain is your pain, your pain is my pain.
My sisters and my brothers, my parents, elders, and teachers, my students and children:
We all need each other
In these dark times.
For more information on feeding your demons, see this short explanation by Lama Tsultrim Allione or her book, "Feeding your Demons: Ancient Wisdom for Resolving Inner Conflict." It is only when we acknowledge our demons, welcome them, accept them as part of us and feed them love that we can transform them.